Blogs Against Hillary

Ms. Hillary Rodham-Clinton is far from my favorite person. Politics or not, I just don't like her. She's up there with Kathy Lee Gifford on my "wish they would die" list.

Strictly for the humor aspect. I'm not a political activist by any means, nor do I want to be. Check this out. Link

The Inevitable

About 3 years ago, I decided I was never - repeat NEVER - moving north of the Missouri state line. This was actually a scientific decision based on the fact that states north of Missouri are typically thought of as cold and snowy states. I gave my winter coat away to goodwill and was settled into the warmer climate of Tulsa, Oklahoma and trying to figure out how to get even further south. Yet, God somehow has a twisted sense of humor. Maybe that's where I get it from. He sends me to Iowa... just 30 miles north of the Missouri line. Ha Ha - real funny. So with a new heavy winter coat on, I trudged outside today, trying to enjoy the inevitable plague of snowflakes that arrived. I know this is the day that the Lord has made, but come on God, couldn't you make some more 75 degree days with sunshine and light breezes?
Well, this is the view out my back window earlier this morning. Enjoy!

I'm a professional, don't try this at home.

Check this guy out as he tries to convince some women that he is the man of their dreams.

Click Here

That was actually the move that I won Deann's heart with.

Happy Thanksgiving to all

I'm thankful for so many wonderful things in my life. My wife and 2 boys. A place to call home. A job that I actually like. But today I want to say I'm thankful for you. My faithful readers. Thank you for tolerating my occasional spelling error and goofy writing style filled with more grammatical errors than one can count. Thanks for challenging me to write better and think harder about what to share.

Oh, yeah - thanks for laughing at my not always funny jokes and my slightly diranged sense of humor. Speaking of which... is that not the absolute funniest picture you've seen today?

Again - Thanks. You make it worth writing.

Holiday Discussions

I was reviewing my profile for this blog and realized I said something over there about philosophical discussions. Then realized I don't have many as part of this blog. So, here goes. Philosophy for discussion.

Some say morality today is crumbling. The evangelicals preach we are in the end times. The days like Noah. Intellectuals say we have evolved our definitions of morality to a higher level where religion and religious theory is no longer needed to bring a sense of morality to our lives. Not only have our definitions evolved, we as humans have evolved and are able to determine for ourselves what is right and what is wrong.

Doing my research I read this article. (link) Morality/Ethics: A Philosophical Discussion of the Basis for Contemporary Moral Choices. Don't read it, you'll hurt yourself. I just put the link there to impress everyone with the fact that I had that much time to waste. It outlines the 3 main approaches taken on morality today with the premise that religion, religious texts and other religious influences are ignored.

• Utilitarianism - seeks the greatest level of happiness for the largest group of individuals with each decision made.
• Deontology - humans have an innate understanding of right and wrong and will use this understanding to ensure basic rights of individuals are kept.
• Social Contract - An agreement exists between individuals and society whereby the individual follows societies rules in exchange for society's protection of the individual's property and rights.

Okay, all that sounds reasonable, but there are questions that gnaw at the back of my mind.

1. Why are religious based morals taken out of the picture?
2. Are we heading toward a time (more likely are we in a time) when religion is a novelty?
3. What sort of argument could be made that would intelligently place religion back in the mix of society's morals?

Well, if nothing else, bring this up to that family member you really don't want to talk to, but are forced to see at Thanksgiving dinner. It's gurarnteed to drive them away and in the process make you look like a genius.

G-Mail

I've had the same email for almost 8 years now - Back when Hotmail wasn't part of MSN and junk mail was something you actually looked forward to reading because it made surfing the web fun and easier. I just recently signed up for a gmail account and am not sure I want to use it. The potential of losing contact with friends, despite the "dear friend, please update your records I'm changing email address" letter that would be sent out. Sure I get 1000MB of storage with it, but I get 250 with hotmail and barely scratch the surface of it. I'm in a bit of a paradoxical conundrum here. I don't want to admit I have neophobia, yet I do. I'm not afraid of change, but perhaps I am. Ohhh, the horror, oh the tragedy. What to do? Where's my shovel? I'm digging a hole and burying my head in the sand.
Or as Hem said to Haw... "Who moved my cheese"

I Miss Hockey

Well, I should be watching Barry Melrose and Darren Pang and the crew on NHL Tonight, but unfortunately the NHL is on strike. I wore a black armband the week that I read they canceled the Allstar game, which was pretty much saying the entire 04-05 season is over. I will miss watching my St. Louis Blues lose another first round playoff series to someone they should easily beat.

HOWEVER - just when I thought my winter sports season was wasted - This Happened

Check out the video clip. Way better than anything I could hope for off the ice. Honestly, I think the Red Wing fans got bored and said "Hey, the Pistons are in town tonight, let's get drunk and go watch Basketball."

Uh... Hello???

How obvious does something have to be before people decide to write a news article about it?

http://www.ncbuy.com/news/2004-11-18/1011118.html

Nicked Off

After a lifetime of shaving in the shower with a bar of Ivory soap to lather my face, I finally decided to switch to shaving cream. I'd experimented with it before, but never really found it that much better and I rarely nick my face, so the lotioning aspect wasn't a plus either. But for some reason, just got it in my system that I needed to use shaving cream. So as I've reached the bottom of my first can of cream I went to look for what other options I have in the world of lather. You know what I found? There's not much choice for men. Now women, they can choose from plain, strawberry, cucomber melon, lavendar, and about a dozen other froo-froo scents. But us guys - nope - just one smell. I'm thinking why doesn't a cologne manufacturer such as Calvin Klien, Obsession or Polo come up with a shaving cream that smells like their cologne? That way when you are done shaving you have a nice smell and you can avoid the stinging pain of aftershave. If anyone knows of any other shaving solutions that will let me be close shaven and step out of the shower smelling masculine please let me know.

Not what I expected

I just got Mouin Rouge from Netflix and popped it in the other night to watch. I was half expecting to have to shut it down or fast forward through a good portion of it because all I heard about it was how racy and provocative it was. In my mind I was mixing Striptease with Showgirls and a little Ron Jeremy.

To my surprise it was a great movie. Little if any language that I heard, but often I tune it out and don't realize how bad language is. There was no nudity either. Kind of disappointing - I know... Just Kidding!

My only thought other than one of the best love stories I've seen in a long time and why can't I get this stupid Elton John song out of my head (it's a little bit funny, this feeling inside - arrrgh it won't stop) is who told me this was such a dirty movie, and what crack pipe were they smoking. Or perhaps my morality compass is off again.

Benefits of Bean and Beef Burritos

It's been a while since I've enjoyed the fine microwave dilectable, better known as a beef and bean burrito. Mmmm. Don't you just love the way they make that "schlop" sound as they slide out of the plastic wrapper? Seriously though, there is something that is just so attractive about them, that no matter how gross they seem in principle, you just have to have one every once in a while. I tasted the savoury entree this week and it brought back such memories.

If you are a connisseur of the microwavable treat like I am, then you are well aware of it's major drawback. No, not the fact that its greatest point of sale is a gas station. No, not the low grade (borderline disgusting) ingredients that fill the tortilla. Yes, it's the fact that when you remove it from the microwave, steaming hot and burn your fingers trying to hold it by the corners fo the wrapper while the steam escapes. You gingerly take the first bite and molten legume sears your tongue and cheek. After a few horrifying seconds of juggling the bite between your teeth and various parts of your mouth you are finally able to swallow it. Your mouth, now so scorched you can't taste the rest of the burrito, which is truly the benefit, because if anyone actually could taste it they wouldn't sell another one. By the time you make it half way through the burrito, your mouth is so relieved to eat the still semi-frozen center that you don't care it's ice cold, it just soothes your tongue. Finally by the last bite, you get the perfect temperature and consistency, which you still can't taste.

Well, leave it to some sciece geek at Cal Tech to analyze this process. (link)
Below is an infrared image of heat distribution of the microwave burrito. Duh! I could have drawn that picture for them without all the high tech equipment. You want to be a help? Develop a microwave that cooks the darn thing evenly.

Love, Death, and Money

I started reading this book, which doesn't sound like much, but I hate reading and so it's a big deal for me. If they could only have made my college texts into movies I would have been an A student. Eat The Rich by PJ O'Rourke, given to me to by my new brother in law before they left on their honeymoon. In the first 3 pages it makes a very profound point I want to share part of it because it is what I have had rolling in the back of my mind, but couldn't put to words. I see this in my office almost weekly from people who are failing financially, and in the rest of the world daily.

"Love, death, and money - these are the three main human concerns. We're all keen students of love. We are fascinated by every aspect of the matter, in theory and in practice - from precise biological observations of thrusting this and gaping that to ethereal sentimentalities marketed in miles of aisles at Hallmark stores. No variety of love too trivial for exegesis. No aspect of love is so ridiculous that it hasn't been exhaustively reviewed by the great thinkers, the great artists and the great hosts of daytime talk shows.
As for death, such is the public apetite for investigation of the subject that the highest-rated television program in America is about an emergenty room. [obviously this book is a little dated - but CSI still about death, still #1] The most hardheaded and unspeculative of persons has his notions of eschatology. The dullest mind can reason extensively about what causes kicking the bucket. Dying sparks our intellecutal curiosity.
But money does not. All we care about is the thing itelf, preferably in large amounts. We care a very great deal about that. But here our brain work stops. We don't seem to mind where our money comes from. And, in an affluent society, we don't even seem to mind where our money goes. As for larger questions about money, we shrug our shoulders and say, 'I wish I had more.'"

New Tunes

Long story short - I read a blog called NakedChurch by Andrew Zirschky a first year student at Princeton Theological Seminary. When I think of a grad student from Princeton, I conjure up images of bowties and cardigan sweaters. However, he somehow breaks that mold. A few weeks ago he posted about Neah Lee who is a classmate of his and also a very talented musician. I became infatuated with her music. To the extent that I went to her website and listened to the sample track of her song Free, which was the chorus on her website. Then to another website where I listened to their sample track which was the verse of the same song. So I spent the better part of a day flipping back and forth listening to the chorus on one site, then the verse on the other just to simulate being able to listen the the whole song.

Fortunately, I got her CD for my birthday and now I don't have to be such a dork. At this moment, I've got it in my computer mellowing out to the floating sounds of Neah Lee's [in]Significance album. Kind of an acoustic sounding, intimate worship style. Check it out.

It's Inevitable

Well, you know it's going to happen every year, and today is the day it happens. Yes I turned another year wiser. That's p.c. for older isn't it? 31 years old today.

Despite my waning sex drive and diming vision, the grey hairs have been around for years so I'm used to them by now, honestly I'm just happy to have hair, and I am still actually happy to be getting older. I think age has a sense of respect and I still feel like a kid at this job and felt that way at most of them I've had. It was always hard being the 25 year old punk managing the 50 year old guy with a lifetime more experience, just half the education. Finally my age is catching my responsibility and it feels good.

Hopefully my doctor will agree with me and quit with the free samples of the little blue pills and sign me up on the revolving prescription. Then life will be truly bluely bliss... Schwing!!!
- Hey just cause I'm getting old doesn't mean I have to grow up does it? Look out honey, I'm comin home with a plan, a purpose and a pursuit on my birthday. Now Brother Hagin probably didn't intend it that way when he preached it, but I knew what he was really saying subliminally through the spirit.

The thrill of the chase

A couple of years ago I got it in my head to become a land lord. Buy dumps, fix them up and rent them. January 2004, we bought our first house and have been loving it (and the money). Today we went to look at what will shortly become our second house and I forgot how much I love the thrill of the chase. All the pressure with closing, juggling the numbers to make it work, and even though the seller has offered a more than fair price on it I'm kind of sad that he won't negotiate on the price. We're going to pay what I want for it, but I'd rather have him start higher so we can go through the negotiating process back and forth and end up at the same price anyway. Oh, well.

By the way, if anyone is looking for a charming 3 bedroom house with a lovely back yard to rent in the Washington, Iowa area, let me know. I know the perfect place!

Out of Great Gift Ideas?

Having entered November in what seems to be record time (Seriously wasn't it just the 4th of July last weekend?) I am now faced with the eternal delima of Christmas shopping. The giving holiday is quickly approaching and the shopping days are being counted down. (46 left at the time of this post) Family gifts are easy to buy for. When all else fails - Angels for mom, shirt and tie for dad, whatever the latest toy is for the kids and something sparkly for my wife. But, the stupid office gift exchange is killing me. What do you get somebody when you put your gift on the pile and draw names to see who gets to go first to pick a gift out.

Last year I had it pegged, or so I thought. The perfect gift exchange item for a church office staff party.
Bobble Head Jesus


I was so excited when I found it last year, then ordered it, got it and was thrilled... until. Until someone (no names) says "That's retarded, no one is going to want that" My bobbling bubble was burst and I sadly decided that someone should enjoy Jesus, so I unwrapped him and put him on my desk. Then, slowly people in the office began to pass by my office door and take note of my bobble headed friend. A growing envy became obvious. Those who previously criticized my plastic savior now wanted one for their own. Well too bad I told them. I'm keeping him and you can't have him. So positioned on my half used spindle of CD-R's is Jesus, head bouncing ever so gently up and down affirming to me that I should share with the world my greatest gift idea that I never gave . Too bad he can't tell me what to get this year. Maybe a bobble headed Virgin Mary. Then I could start a bobble headed nativity scene that our office could assemble like an advent calendar during the month of December. Maybe not.

It's Comin' Off

Okay - so I'm a little pudgy. Well maybe a little round in the middle. Fine, I'm rediculously fat and could stand to lose about 45 pounds. Well I made up my mind that I'm losing 20 pounds by the first of the year. We're going to Can Cun for vacation. Leaving Jan 1st, so I figure why not look good in (or at least fit into) my swim trunks.

I hate the typical "I'm going to start tomorrow" so I'm blogging this becuase I actually started yesterday. Watching what I eat and upping the exercise. I ran 5 miles this morning and am going another 5 tomorrow even if my running partner doesn't show - you know who you are - you better show up.

Not bad for a tub-o-lard - dedication and confidence. Somewhere under this pasty white, cellulose filled skin is a buff, sexy man. No seriously he's there... I think.

Uhhh, what just happened?

You ever have that feeling of something just happened, I can describe it to you in vivid detail, but I have absolutely no idea of how it all came about?

Well, let me give you an illustration.



Meet Baxter, Baxter Barrett that is. A somewhat mangy, duck footed Lhasa Apso. Yes, Friday evening, my wife and I begin discussing Christmas and birthday preasants for the boys. Next thing you know we're talking pets, then cats or dogs, then which dog are we going to get, then what time Saturday are we picking him up and at what truck stop between here and Carrol, Iowa (about 4-1/2 hours away) will we meet this family who is parting with their beloved friend.

You ever ride the Tower of Terror at MGM Studios? That feeling you get right before the loud metallic "Clank" when the brakes release and you plummit 13 stories to the bottom of the elevator shaft... Yeah, that's what I felt somewhere on the car ride to get Baxter.

Fortunately he's proven to be a great addition to the family. Now we just need to come up with some ideas for Christmas and birthday preasants for the boys.