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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Christians are Stupid

I read this post on a website tonight and found it interesting. I wanted to just link to it, but it's got a few explatives that some of my readers may be offended by, so I edited it (edited words in italics), but left as much as I could for content sake. It's kind of long, but I think it gives good insight to an individual's and possibly a culture's thoughts on Christianity

What do you think?

Christians Are Stupid

Crazy's recent mention of ‘Satan is a Nerd’ t-shirt spawned a story idea that’s been on my mind a long time. I want to make a t-shirt that says ‘Christians are Stupid’. I stopped going to church when I moved out on my own, mostly because of laziness and since I was going to school (Crazy and I are alumni from the same school!) and had to work every Sunday morning, I just plain stopped going. I was a Catholic until I was in 6th grade (the most confusing and dreaded of all Christian religions, this is the only religion that has expanded the 10 commandments into the 10,000 commandments, and has a rating system for sins) The Catholics also believe that they are the only true Christian Church. What? They think that if you’re Lutheran or any of those other Christian religions that most of us can’t spell or pronouce, you are going to the temporary Hell ‘Purgatory’ . Well I switched to the Lutheran church after Catholicism, they teach you everything that is wrong with the Catholic church (like it isn’t all in plain site) and they teach you about a guy who founded the Lutheran church, Martin Luther (no, not the guy who did the ‘I have a dream speech’) Martin Luther is famous for a lot of things, besides telling the Pope to f*#% off (rock on!) he also translated the bible into German and invented the Christmas tree – I think? The Pope had a massive price on old Martin’s head, but ultimately he was never caught and died of natural causes. Since Martin there has never really been any religious hero’s for Christianity. Jesse Jackson maybe, but after he had a similar ‘Clinton incident’ he lost his wings. This is one of the main reasons why I’m agnostic and why I think Christians are stupid:

1. They think being agnostic means atheist. They also believe you are a satanist, socialist, communist and a Muslim. Lets clear some things up. Agnostics do NOT believe in ANY organized religion, but we do believe in God and a higher power. A lot of my own art deals with the difference between spirituality and religion, there is a different.

2. If you don’t go to church or believe in Jesus, you are going straight to Hell. Actually I believe in Jesus, do I think he was the son of God? Well, lets think about it, now days if someone says they are the son of god (please reference interviews with GG Allin and Charlie Manson) they are considered loony, but yet we believe a guy who was born over 2000 years ago and we have annual department store sales dedicated to his birthday, existed as the son of God. Christians really are stupid.

3. War. All wars are fought because of religion, heck in Ireland they fight over the same religion, Christianity. If wars are not fought because of religion, they are usually fought over land that is occupying Holy Land. I’ve always said if we could just agree on a International religion, war would end. God is God, he just has different names in different parts of the world.

4. Faith based charities. These goofs want to take my tax money to ram the bible down ignorant starving children’s throats, lets try feeding them first. There is a reason why we have separation of church and state and churches are tax FREE, you are supposed have the congregation support your goofy charities, not me the tax payer. My tax money already goes to enough stupid programs, such as abstinance education (I’m sure a Christian thought of that one).

5. George Bush Jr. is a Christian.

6. Private Christian schools. Isn’t there enough crap courses they teach you in high school? Now they think learning about Jesus will also help your studies.

7. Protesting no prayer in school. Okay, this one is quite possibly the biggest one that proves Christians are stupid. Isn’t God supposed to hear you all the time, so if you are praying silently at your desk, how’s a teacher supposed to know? Heck, I used to pray all the time in school, that the teacher wouldn’t catch me goofing off.

8. The Promise Keepers are Christians. This nutless organization had a big rally in Minneapolis a few years back, since I wasn’t a Christian, I had not heard about it in advance and drove to Minneapolis for the weekend. I couldn’t find a hotel room and ended up driving back to my crappy town I live in. Man I was pissed. It wasn’t like the Vikings were playing the Bears, it was a bunch of weaklings bonding. I remember yelling at one of them. They just waved and said ‘god be with you’ I had a half a notion to let the air out of their bus tires.

9. Christians still buy the Bibles. Did you know the Holy Bible has been on the bestseller list for years? What’s with this, you can’t find one laying around or for a quarter at Goodwill? Heck, the Gideons give them away for free. Stop Buying them!

10. They hate the Jews. This one boggles me. Not only was Jesus a Jew, they called him the ‘King of Jews’ The Jewish community is responsible for most of our economic structure in America. (I don’t know if this is a good thing or not) and Adam Sandler is a Jew, and he’s pretty damn funny.

Well I’m sure they’re reserving a room for me in Purgatory right now. I wonder what they will have me do to work off my blasphemy. I hope it’s being Martin Luther’s butler or something. Knowing my luck though I may have to be in GGAllin’s Hell band.

Fat Midget